My kids each have a piggy bank. To be exact, they each have an old glass pasta or jam jar that I cleaned out and repurposed. We’re working on getting them “real” piggy banks. They love these jars because they can see their money, and periodically, my eight-year-old will gleefully count his money.
The other day, Grace, my six-year-old daughter brought down her jar and her youngest sister Hannah’s jar. The two of them happily took out their money and sorted it different ways. It was time to clean up, and Grace had stepped away. I helped Hannah put different amounts of coins and dollars in each jar. Since no one knew how much was in each child’s jar to begin with, I did my best to sort the money according to what I recalled.
Upon Grace’s return, she immediately burst into tears. “But, Mommy, Hannah only had three coins in her jar, and now she has half of mine!” she exclaimed. I wasn’t so sure about that, but rather than dismiss the small injustice of less than a dollar, I took a moment to practice some money lessons and mindset. I told Grace two lessons it took me a couple decades to learn.
1. Mixing money is a mistake, and you can fix your mistake
“Honey, you need to keep your money separate. Mommy and Daddy manage all our money together, because we are married and we share the same goals, but we always track our money that we earn separately. That helps us know what we have. We also have different accounts to sort our money. This helps us use it for the purpose we want.
Never mix your money with someone else. Hannah didn’t mean any harm, and she certainly didn’t know better. Once you mix your money, it becomes impossible to know what you had to begin with, because someone else will always remember differently than you. This is a mistake, and now you know how to avoid this in the future. You don’t need to fear making it again.”
2. There is a lot of money in the world, and there are lots of opportunities to earn lots of money this year
“I’m so sorry you may have lost some money. We don’t even know if or how much that was. Here is the good news: there is lots and lots of money in the world. I will give you many opportunities to earn money. At the end of this year, you will have more money than when you started. You are not held back by what you lost. You can start today and get more money.”
We practiced saying aloud: “There is lots of money in the world, and I will earn lots of money this year.”
I then set a date on the calendar to take the kids to the bank to deposit some of their money into their savings accounts, and came up with a couple things the kids could do outside of normal routines to earn some money.
Tracking your money, and keeping it in separate accounts is essential for managing your money in a way that matches your values. I want my kids to know those skills. But wait. . .there’s more. I want my kids to know that they don’t need to become miserly on account of fear or a sense of loss. A mistake is just a lesson for the future. There is a lot of money in the world. Believing you can and will receive the money you want for the purposes you intend is just as essential a skill. Your beliefs about money will form your money mindset.
As a parent, teaching our kids how to respond to financial mistakes and look for financial opportunity represents are incredible gift. Unfortunately, many of us were never taught, or never figured out on our own, how to change our financial mindset. It’s not too late, and if you have children, you can bring them along with you in developing a healthier mindset.
Do you feel that your piggy bank is robbed, and you cannot move on? Are you blaming yourself, someone else, or the world for how unfair things are with money? Perhaps you need to recognize the mistake, and forgive yourself or someone else. Be glad you can learn from mistakes. I certainly have learned from my mistakes!
Do you believe there is a lot of money in the world and you will earn a lot of money this year? Many of us struggle to believe there are financial opportunities, in part because we didn’t receive practice in looking for ways to bring in income – whether it be saving money in a bank account that bears interest, or finding ways to increase earning. Try saying the words, “There is a lot of money in the world, and I can earn a lot of money this year” just like my six-year-old Grace. If that feels odd, trying writing it out instead. Your mindset will shape your actions. Consider adopting a mindset that you will receive what you need this year. After all, the opportunities are there, and the money is there.
Photo by Ksenia Makagonova on Unsplash