At some point in my investing journey, I realized I was living a life that was very different from other people. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at first, but it probably became most apparent after our difficult financial year in 2014.
That year, we were using up all our savings, I was pregnant and unemployed, and I had to go to some meeting at the DC Unemployment office. I hated collecting unemployment, but it was a practical necessity: I needed some cash so I could have childcare during interviews and also so I could start paying prior to starting my job. It wasn’t shameful, but I still hated it. I sat down with a nice gentleman who went over my situation with me. I was very clear I was going to get a job before I had the baby, because I did not want to being interviewing with a newborn, and also because I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to keep my head in the game.
The gentleman told me, to be surprise, that really, it would be OK to continue collecting unemployment given my circumstances. I was surprised. First, because I wasn’t sure he was supposed to tell people on unemployment to not worry about getting a job. Second, I knew, even with the cost of childcare, and taking a short unpaid maternity leave, I would come out ahead financially if I got a job. That moment started my journey into being different. I wanted more than the status quo.
I believe you have dreams and goals. Dreams are inspiring and make you smile. Goals are concrete and make you focus. My dream was a life of philanthropy, something my husband and I discussed during our engagement. We weren’t quite sure what philanthrophy would be for us, but I had read about Bill and Melinda Gates, and wanted to do something in that vein. They inspired me. We figured we would be a little different, and give now, as well as in the future. But philanthropy requires money. A lot of money. So we developed goals. We had concrete goals, like being financially independent in our late 50s. We had peace of mind goals, like never worrying about paying our bills. We had giving goals, like giving away 8-10% of our gross income.
Because of those goals, I was clear that I needed to earn a certain amount of money in a certain amount of time. Everything had to line up with those goals. We never said “We can’t save more for retirement.” We said, “We choose to put our money on other things, like giving, instead of retirement.”
Everything is a choice. Life happens, but we make the decisions. Most importantly, we know our values, and we let them dictate our choices. A colleague once said she couldn’t save more for retirement, but that same year, she went to the Olympics and did a 10 day vacation in Italy. Going to the Olympics is a family goal, so I thought that was an amazing opportunity. I don’t agree with what she said though. She is choosing to save less for retirement because of a great immedate opportunity. The word “can’t” should be reserved for things outside your control, like avoiding death, and not for things you can control, like saving.
I have discovered that all my life choices are essentially financial choices. I own that, and that is what makes me different. Owning that belief made me unique, but it also made it easier to focus and get closer to my dream.
Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash