I had a recent conversation with a young woman, in which she posed an interesting question. It was at the core of why I believe you need to connect your values with the idea of money and investing. My friend is bright, hard-working, has a lot going for her, and about to embark on the start of college.
She asked:
“What if I don’t care about money?”
At the time, I said something along the lines of “money does matter, and it matters because it lets you live the life you want.” But I felt her question was more fundamental, and worth exploring. I spent some time thinking about that question. There are plenty of things that I don’t care about, and don’t spend money on. One simple example is that I didn’t care about make-up for my wedding, and just borrowed some the day of. Today, I own some make-up, but it’s minimal, and I often don’t put any on. I don’t care about it, and therefore I don’t pay attention to it. What reason do I have to tell someone else to pay attention to something they don’t care about?
The answer is:
Money is one of the principal ways we express our values.
It does not matter whether you seek to build a large net worth, or bootstrap along through life. Every day you are expressing your beliefs and values not just about money, but about life. Here are two examples of how values are tied to how we live:
- My parents were missionaries, and my upbringing reflected their values about money and life. Their values are reflected in how they lived. They made little money, but lived a full life. They have both worked until age 70. They expressed their values through their chosen vocation which included forgoing a larger income.
- Conversely, I decided early on that I would rather give my money and possessions to others – a choice which necessitated earning a larger income. Over the course of our marriage, my husband and I have increased our giving. We currently give away 10% of our gross income. We have put off many repairs to our house to maintain this goal. We believe we are stewards of our money. We express our values through our giving.
It is incorrect to say I don’t value money, because I give it away. It is also incorrect to say my parents didn’t care about money because they didn’t pursue a more lucrative career. The similarity between our financial choices is our clarity on what we value. We value giving, and our financial choices directly reflect that value.
If my parents said they valued generosity expressed through life-long service, and they didn’t serve, would you believe them? If I said I valued generosity, and chose to do so through giving, but I didn’t give consistently, would you believe me? Probably not.
You don’t have to care about money. You do need to care about your values. As you focus on living out your values, financial decisions will begin to follow.
Do you value an education – you will spend time and money on it. Do you value hosting friends and family in a large house – you will direct your time and money toward those endeavors. Do you value financial independence – your financial portfolio will reflect that. If you say you value something, and your financial state does not reflect it, then perhaps you should evaluate whether you truly value that item. After all, money is one of the principal ways we express our values. You don’t have to care about money. You just have to know what you value.