One of the best-kept “secrets” to success is setting priorities. Our priorities are those things that we regard as important, compared to other areas. If you aren’t sure what your priorities are, take a look at your calendar and your checkbook. How we spend our time and money speaks volumes about what our priorities are, but rarely do we take the time to think about how our time and money align with our priorities. Part of the reason for that is there’s a step before setting priorities many of us are afraid to take.
The first step in setting priorities, particularly with money, is facing reality. In years of business and coaching, I’ve come to sniff out when someone is in denial about what is really going on. Here are some classic areas of denial:
- You took on tens of thousands of student loan debt because no one counseled you otherwise… but the reality is no one is going to figure out how to pay it off, other than you.
- Your job stinks big-time, and you keep telling yourself to ignore the team’s toxicity… but the reality is you are just scared to look for a job in a tough economy.
- Inflation is eating up your grocery bill, and frankly just about everything else… but the reality is you don’t want to admit it, and you haven’t readjusted your spending.
- You know your employer is struggling to make sales, but you tell yourself you’re “safe” as a top contributor… but the reality is you need to get ready and find yourself a new job.
That last example was me. Even though I knew our sales forecast, and it was clear a layoff was on the horizon, I told myself that because I was such a great and valued team member, my job was safe… but I ended up unemployed in the middle of a surprise pregnancy.
Reality hurts, but it can also be your best friend if you’ll embrace it. If you’re in a tough spot with money, feel stuck in a soul-sucking job, or in major denial about something else going on right now, you’re not alone. Most people I’ve worked with are afraid to face reality, because deep down, they think they’ll learn something that will be too much for them to face. Yet when they loved themselves enough to face their reality, they could finally take meaningful action. In my case, not only did I find new employment, but seven years later, I made it to my goal of 1 million dollars in investments. Life has a lot more tough moments than any of us care to admit, but every day is an opportunity to love yourself enough to make friends with reality. Trust me, your future self will thank you.
Something to think about
- What is true about my present situation that, until this point, I haven’t admitted?
- What steps might I take, if I was really honest?
Something to do
- Practice compassion starting now and commit to loving yourself enough to face reality every day.
- If you have a partner or friend, give them a call, and tell them what you’re facing.